Trudeau declares war on truckers; leads cavalry of inflatable unicorns to take out bouncy castle
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has declared war on the trucker convoy for freedom in Canada and is leading a cavalry...
Newsbeat
In effort to be more green, China switches from gas-powered artificial snow makers to 100% slave labor
BEIJING—After several environmentalist groups applied pressure to China about its use of fossil-fuel-powered snow makers to produce snow for the...
Struggling Mark Zuckerberg launches GoFundMe page as net worth drops under $100 billion
Mark Zuckerberg has started a GoFundMe donation page as his net worth plummeted to under $100 billion following his company's...
Newsom mandates a 10k-seat ‘Looters Section’ at Superbowl LVI
LOS ANGELES—Spectators paying upwards of $10,000 (yes, you read that right) to watch the LA Rams and Cincinnati Bengals slug...
In major policy win, Biden admin offers $30 million in grants to unload Hunter’s crack pipes
WASHNGTON, DC—In a flagship grant program, titled ”Pipes with the Bidens,” the flailing administration has advanced their most ingenious piece...
Zucker lands role in live-action Mx. Potato Head film after being fired from CNN
ATLANTA—Jeff Zucker has already landed on his feet. The embattled ex-President of CNN has won a starring role in the...
BREAKING: China unveils new deadlier Dancing Panda virus at Olympic opening ceremonies
BEIJING—As promised, the new killer Chinese virus was ready for the 2022 Olympics opening ceremony, exposing everyone in attendance. Reviews...
Elite Rogan’s Rangers deployed to Ukraine armed only with deadly interviews
KYIV, UKRAINE—The elite unit Rogen’s Rangers was deployed by the Biden Pentagon in the middle of the night to the...
BREAKING: Canadian trucker protesters kill and burn innocent dogs in Ottawa
(CNN) OTTAWA—The racist trucker protests in the Canadian capital have turned violent as several participants killed and burned innocent dogs...
BREAKING: Racist Canadian trucker protests turn violent with burning, looting, and killing
OTTAWA—The Racists in the Canadian trucker protest in Ottawa turned violent today, burning cars and looting stores, according to sources...
