BREAKING: White House schedules Biden’s first State of the Union speech for shortly after he dies
WASHINGTON, DC—The White House has scheduled President Biden's first State of the Union speech to be delivered to a joint...
Newsbeat
Biden approval rating surges after he’s replaced with a cardboard cutout of himself
US—President Biden's approval rating has surged after he was replaced with a cardboard cutout of himself yesterday. The move came...
Cuomo says he was too busy killing 15,000 seniors to do anything bad like sexually harass someone
ALBANY, NY—Governor Andrew Cuomo has offered a unique defense against the myriad sexual assault allegations that have been raised against...
Cuomo wins Al-Qaeda’s ‘Jihadi of the Year’ prize for killing 3x more Americans than 9/11
MIDDLE EAST—Emmy winner and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo scored another award this week as Al-Qaeda honored him with their...
Supreme Court Justice Roberts plugs ears, yells ‘I can’t hear you’ in response to election fraud cases
WASHINGTON, DC—The highest court in the United States has rejected the last legal contest to the widespread election fraud in...
Trump delivers his 5th State of the Union speech from Florida
ORLANDO—In a unique change of pace, President Trump delivered his fifth State of the Union speech to an enthusiastic crowd...
EXCLUSIVE: NASA releases stunning selfies from Mars rover
JEZERO CRATER, MARS—NASA's most powerful rover yet, the Perseverance, is regularly sending back images from the Red Planet, some of...
CNN: Disturbing new trend of Americans having ‘unfettered conversations’
(CNN) Over the past few months there’s been a disturbing new trend that’s been spreading like wildfire. More than ever...
Coca-Cola now requiring employees to ‘be less white’ by wearing blackface
ATLANTA—Super woke soft drink company Coca-Cola is now mandating all employees to wear blackface in order to "be less white"....
BREAKING: Biden deports all Republicans to Cancún
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to the Ted Cruz scandal plaguing the nation, President Biden signed an executive order deporting all Republicans...
