BREAKING: Biden never officially declared innocent of rape
The Mueller resignation press conference has opened the flood gates of condemnation in accordance with the new standards of jurisprudence...
Newsbeat
Mueller: Trump ‘obstructed justice by not doing what he was accused of doing’
Special Counsel Robert Mueller, while announcing his resignation, declared that President Trump had "obstructed justice by not doing what he...
Ocasio-Cortez releases university degree to silence skeptics
Many people have become threatened by the success of an intelligent woman of color in a powerful position—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—so much...
BREAKING: Harambe posthumously announces 2020 presidential bid
Just when you thought the field for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination couldn't get any fuller or more clown-like, long...
Facebook bans itself for acting too much like Nazis
After Facebook banned several prominent personalities for posting things they didn't agree with and acting too much like Nazis, the...
Joe Biden releases logo for 2020 presidential campaign
Joe Biden has announced his candidacy for the 2020 presidential election. His campaign is focusing on a "hands-on" approach to...
There are now officially more Democrats running for president than there are people in the world
With two more Democrats putting their hat in the ring for the 2020 presidential nomination, researchers have determined that there...
Church that withstood 900 years of war and bombings ‘accidentally’ burns down
The Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris has been "accidentally" burned down after enduring 900 years of war and bombings...
UK Police confiscate giant spork in zero-tolerance raid
UK police stationed in Northumberland celebrated after a zero-tolerance raid resulted in the confiscation of one giant green spork (spoon-fork)....
Trump buys CNN; changes it to the government-run Great News Network
After years of combating what he calls the "fake news network" CNN and suggesting that the government needs a state-run...
