Federal Judge Blocks Trump’s Turkey Pardon, Orders Him to “Personally Slaughter the Bird Live on Television”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning rebuke of long-standing holiday tradition, U.S. District Judge Hugh Jassole issued an emergency ruling...
Politics
Congress To Fix Nation By Working Almost 100 Days Next Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold display of legislative masochism, House Minority Leader Steve Scalise proudly unveiled the 2026 Congressional...
Bondi Vows to ‘Fully Honor’ Epstein File Transparency by Ensuring Zero Arrests from Released Documents
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move hailed by legal scholars as “the most transparent non-prosecution in American history,” Attorney General...
Michigan Bans ‘Assault Bacon’ Following Dearborn Melee
LANSING, MI – In a bold move to protect public safety and promote interfaith harmony, Governor Gretchen Whitmer signed an...
TSA Implements Protective Measures for Passengers Seated Near Rep Brad Sherman
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move praised by public-health experts and dry cleaners alike, the Transportation Security Administration announced Tuesday...
BREAKING: House halts funding vote due to water main leak
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. House of Representatives hit the brakes on its long-awaited vote to end the 43-day government shutdown Wednesday...
BREAKING: Wolf Wins Election With Huge Sheep & Chicken Vote
In what can only be described as animals gone wild, the wolf has won election to rule the farm. The...
Deep Thoughts by AOC Episode 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFoOcDfHbH8 🌀 Deep Thoughts by AOC — Episode 1 Step into the shimmering world of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s consciousness, where ideas...
Statue of Liberty gets makeover after New York elects first communist Muslim mayor
NEW YORK—New York City’s iconic Statue of Liberty has been draped in a colossal burka following the election of the...
BREAKING: Wars Breakout All Over Hell As Dick Cheney Welcomed In
HELL—In a development that has even the most jaded demons reaching for their pitchforks, Hell descended into unprecedented chaos this...
