Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign
In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the...
Politics
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Javier Castellano, jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner Mage, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying, "If I...
Lightfoot to Abbott: ‘It’s inhumane to send immigrants here to Chicago where it’s so dangerous’
CHICAGO—In a press conference earlier today, outgoing Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago made a public statement directed towards Texas Governor...
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance to stoke the white...
AOC: ‘If we just legalize theft and shooting there wouldn’t be much crime’
Progressive darling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) defended cuts to the New York City Police Department (NYPD), saying, "If we just...
BREAKING: Navy hires former Bud Light VP to completely kill their brand too
The US Navy has announced its newest hire in an effort to completely destroy their brand: former Bud Light Vice...
BREAKING: More charges filed against Trump after evidence of him kicking a puppy surfaces
(CNN) US—The New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg has filed more charges against former President Donald Trump after evidence of...
Biden celebrates Cinco de Mayo letting a lucky 300 million illegal immigrants into the US
EL PASO—In a move that is sure to ruffle some feathers, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be...
BREAKING: Trans shaman who stormed Kentucky Capitol building sentenced to zero years in prison
In a surprising turn of events, the self-proclaimed trans shaman who led an insurrection at the Kentucky state capitol has...
