Politics

David Hogg launches MyPillow competition: MyDillow for small, mousy men

Exavier Saskagoochie February 5, 2021

Parkland school shooting survivor and gun control advocate David Hogg plans to launch his own pillow company to compete with...

Fauci orders wall of masks built around all federal buildings

Richie Richards February 5, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—Latest guidelines from the CDC require walls of N95 masks constructed around all buildings to keep the population safe...

BREAKING: AOC recalls barely making it out alive of Ewok siege on Endor base

Exavier Saskagoochie February 4, 2021

FOREST MOON—A teary-eyed Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) on Monday recounted the horrifying events during the Ewok siege of the Galactic...

BREAKING: Thousands of immigrants heading to US to become victims of systemic racism

Exavier Saskagoochie February 4, 2021

McALLEN, TX—A migrant caravan from Africa and Central America is heading for the United States to become victims of the...

Disney releases new blockbuster: Ocacchio

Exavier Saskagoochie February 3, 2021

NO BUENO VISTA, CA—Disney Corporation is capitalizing on the wonderful life of congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (also known as Alexandria Ocasio-Smollett)...

AOC: ‘I was almost just killed by an economics textbook’

Rafi Metz February 3, 2021

NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) recounted today on Twitter a very disturbing experience she had recently. AOC said she...

BREAKING: Biden ends mass discussion about ‘Kids in cages’

Exavier Saskagoochie February 3, 2021

THE BORDER—The great humanitarian Joe Biden has overturned the horrible Trump immigration policy of "kids in cages" that the Obama...

NEW: AOC reveals she is a Holocaust survivor

Richie Richards February 3, 2021

NEW YORK—Desperate for attention, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez announced new layers to her victim status by describing her very real experience surviving...