BREAKING: Biden promises to end Alzheimer’s by 2008
WASHINGTON, DC—For those still maintaining any doubts about his cognitive and mental state, the following should clear things up: in...
Politics
EXCLUSIVE: NASA releases stunning selfies from Mars rover
JEZERO CRATER, MARS—NASA's most powerful rover yet, the Perseverance, is regularly sending back images from the Red Planet, some of...
AOC unveils plan to fix Texas’s energy problems
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has suggested the answer to the near total failure of green energy in Texas...
Mike Lindell launches new company selling red pills to wake people up
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell has made a lot of money helping people get the best sleep of their lives,...
OJ Simpson teams with Hillary Clinton to write ‘If I Did It 2’
CHAPPAQUA, NY—In a sequel to his 2007 hit book If I Did It, OJ Simpson is teaming with Hillary Clinton...
BREAKING: Biden signs executive order changing U.S. motto to ‘In Gov We Trust’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden signed an executive order today changing the national motto from ‘In G-D We Trust’ to ‘In Gov...
In effort to win over media, Ted Cruz starts putting COVID patients in nursing homes
AUSTIN—Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) who was criticized for not personally fixing all of the telephone and cables during the snowstorm...
Biden is giving up chocolate-covered kids for Lent
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reiterated President Joe Biden's devout Catholicism today confirming that he has given up...
In effort to woo Trump voters, Biden tries new hairdo
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to understand and woo Trump supporters, Dominion-select President Joe Biden is trying a new hairdo. "I...
BREAKING: Biden deports all Republicans to Cancún
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to the Ted Cruz scandal plaguing the nation, President Biden signed an executive order deporting all Republicans...
