Sheikh O’Rourke vows to impose jizya tax on gay marriage opponents
During a town hall hosted by CNN, the venerable sheikh Beto O’Rourke explained his plan for bringing critics of the...
Religion
Nike updates Kaepernick slogan, “Believe in something, unless it upsets the Chinese government.”
After removing all of the Rockets apparel from their Chinese stores, a move that was prompted by Houston's general manager...
Elizabeth Warren to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day by scalping 6 of her political enemies
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
San Francisco to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing scores of people to climate god
Everyone already knows that Columbus was a literal Hitler from the 15th century and that all woke people celebrate Indigenous...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez releases new cookbook, ‘Cooking Babies for Climate Change’
It all started with a crazed disciple of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez charging her podium shouting "We've got to eat babies to...
Thunberg to Pope, “Have you accepted climate change as your lord and savior?”
The path of the evangelist is one of constant hope and failure, so one should not read too much into...
Breaking: Pope Francis endorses Elizabeth Warren for President
Not one to shy away from political discourse, Pope Francis has thrown his hat—er headdress—into the discussion of who will...
Swedish lovechild of Bill Nye takes up the torch of telling people how to live their lives
The environment was intense as 16 year old Greta Thunberg yelled recycled platitudes at a room full of adults who...
Bernie: “Sacrificing poor people to Moloch is our only hope against climate change”
A long time ago, in the land of fairies and magic, human beings collectively believed they could appease their angry...
DiCaprio: ‘Humanity has 12 years to repent and submit to my climate authority!’
Leonardo DiCaprio has called on his followers to repent and submit to his climate authority in a bid to save...
