Biden says he will probably vote for ‘this Brandon guy’ next election
US—Following a recent surge in popularity of a dark horse presidential candidate "Brandon", even sitting President* Joe Biden says that...
World
Shoppers already lining up for Black Friday deals outside of cargo ship off California coast
LOS ANGELES—Shoppers have already started lining up for this year's Black Friday deals at beaches across California. They have their...
CNN: Biden draws huge boat parade off California coast
(CNN) LOS ANGELES—While there wasn't much support for President* Joe Biden during his campaign, the first Alzheimer's patient in the...
Southwest cancels 1000s of flights, blames Jupiter’s Giant Red Spot overtaking US
DALLAS—Southwest Airlines canceled hundreds more flights Monday after the airline was forced to ground nearly 2,000 flights over the weekend, blaming...
Teen out on bail following ‘mostly peaceful’ school shooting
(CNN) ARLINGTON, TX—Timothy George Simpkins is out on bail following his role in the mostly peaceful school shooting at Timberview...
Biden praises Lightfoot for how many Chicagoans have ‘gotten shot’ this year
CHICAGO—In a rambling, incoherent speech, the most popular president in the history of the world pushed his vaccine agenda in...
Australia officially returns to being a prison colony
SYDNEY, Australia—Australia began as a prison colony for the United Kingdom and they have officially returned to being just a...
Australian cops to beat protesters until they learn being unvaxxed is bad for your health
MELBOURNE, Australia—Police across the city and country are continuing a campaign to beat protesters until they learn that being unvaccinated...
BREAKING: Fox News calls tomorrow’s California recall election for Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO—Fox News has officially called tomorrow's California recall election for Governor Gavin Newsom hours before in-person voting has begun. After...
UPDATE: Taliban conducting mostly peaceful beheadings and other news
Welcome to PNN news, the Puppet News Network. This is your up to the minute update. Taliban forces continue to...
