To prepare for war, Ukrainian troops undergo emergency Critical Race Theory training
UKRAINE—As the nation awaits a Russian invasion, military leaders ordered all soldiers receive last minute critical race theory lessons in...
World
Opinion: Canadian Truckers are literal Fascists, but these Neo-Nazis are not
Here we go again! Right-wingers the world over think they are dunking on the libs. You see, America’s CON-servatives kindly...
Ukraine troops wash, wax, vacuum tanks; get ready for capture
UKRAINE—Major General Victor Nikolyuk, Northern Commander ordered all Ukrainian armored vehicles to be vacuumed and washed. “When the Russians capture...
Trudeau declares war on truckers; leads cavalry of inflatable unicorns to take out bouncy castle
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has declared war on the trucker convoy for freedom in Canada and is leading a cavalry...
In effort to be more green, China switches from gas-powered artificial snow makers to 100% slave labor
BEIJING—After several environmentalist groups applied pressure to China about its use of fossil-fuel-powered snow makers to produce snow for the...
BREAKING: Biden sends $80B in weapons to Ukraine to leave behind for Russia when we withdraw
WASHINGTON, DC--Following his stellar exit strategy that worked flawlessly in Afghanistan, President* Biden is sending over $80 billion in military-grade...
BREAKING: France to deploy troops to Caribbean islands of Ukraine in the ‘Speed Bump’ formation
PARIS—French President Emmanuel Macron announced the deployment of a few companies of French troops into the Ukraine conflict. Taken from...
BREAKING: Trudeau outlaws honking, bans all Canadian geese from country
OTTAWA—Canadian Fascist Party Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has outlawed all honking in response to the 2022 Trucker Convoy for Freedom...
GoFundMe changes its name to GoF***Me
SILLICON VALLEY, CA—Charitable giving platform GoFundMe is changing its name to GoF***Me after receiving some bad press over the Canadian...
BREAKING: China unveils new deadlier Dancing Panda virus at Olympic opening ceremonies
BEIJING—As promised, the new killer Chinese virus was ready for the 2022 Olympics opening ceremony, exposing everyone in attendance. Reviews...
