BREAKING: Taliban to combat climate change by killing all dissenters who breathe
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—The Taliban has vowed to tackle climate change as part of the terror group's attempt to rebrand itself and modernize. A spokesman...
World
Biden sending 5000 troops to get all Americans trapped inside Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden told Americans stuck in Chicago that the government will bring them back to the U.S. even as it is not sure how...
BREAKING: Biden surrenders to Nazi Germany too
WASHINGTON, DC—After a successful withdrawal and surrender to Taliban forces in Afghanistan, US President* Joe Biden has unilaterally decided to...
BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg declares himself winner in Afghanistan election
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—As the new Afghan government is forming, former US Democratic Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg announced himself victorious in the...
Biden orders all rainbow flags flown at half-staff after Taliban cancels UN queer theory classes
WASHINGTON, DC—Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Mark Milley was appalled to hear that the Taliban cancelled all...
Biden assures Americans trapped in Afghanistan he won’t send any mean tweets
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden finally promised the 10-15,000 Americans still trapped in Afghanistan that they don't need to worry about...
BREAKING: DC bombing threat says he doesn’t know why there was an FBI paystub in his car
WASHINGTON, DC—The DC bomb threat suspect has surrendered to law enforcement officials peacefully after threatening on a livestream from his...
Introducing Taliban Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!
Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there:...
New Yorkers posing as Afghani terrorists in order to move freely without vaccine passport
NEW YORK--Thousands of New Yorkers across the city today are pretending to be Afghani terrorists so that they can move...
