Rep who calls all Americans terrorists is offended at being called a terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Ilhan Omar (D-MN) who regularly calls all Americans terrorists was recently offended when Rep Lauren Boebert made...
World
BREAKING: Travel bans aren’t racist anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials have declared that it is no longer racist to restrict travel from Africa after President* Joe Biden restricted...
Failed presidential candidate ‘Beto’ launches gubernatorial ‘Beta’ campaign
EL PASO—If at first you don’t succeed, try failing again. That’s the unofficial motto for Robert O’Rourke's Texas gubernatorial campaign after his...
CNN: Why napping during climate speeches is good for the environment
(CNN)Taking naps on the job is the new technique to help the environment, science says. So, when the leader of...
CBS cancels World Series due to constant ‘F*** Joe Biden’ chanting in crowd
US—CBS has cancelled the World Series after constant chanting from the crowd disrupted game four. Fans chanted "F*** Joe Biden"...
Biden says he will probably vote for ‘this Brandon guy’ next election
US—Following a recent surge in popularity of a dark horse presidential candidate "Brandon", even sitting President* Joe Biden says that...
Shoppers already lining up for Black Friday deals outside of cargo ship off California coast
LOS ANGELES—Shoppers have already started lining up for this year's Black Friday deals at beaches across California. They have their...
CNN: Biden draws huge boat parade off California coast
(CNN) LOS ANGELES—While there wasn't much support for President* Joe Biden during his campaign, the first Alzheimer's patient in the...
Southwest cancels 1000s of flights, blames Jupiter’s Giant Red Spot overtaking US
DALLAS—Southwest Airlines canceled hundreds more flights Monday after the airline was forced to ground nearly 2,000 flights over the weekend, blaming...
Teen out on bail following ‘mostly peaceful’ school shooting
(CNN) ARLINGTON, TX—Timothy George Simpkins is out on bail following his role in the mostly peaceful school shooting at Timberview...
