Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
Fetterman shows off new ‘I ❤️ Fracking’ tattoo
After a dismal debate performance in which Pennsylvania Senate candidate Jon Fetterman made a half-hearted attempt to sway voters with...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
CNN: SUV found guilty on all accounts in mostly peaceful Waukesha parade accident
WAUKESHA, WI—A Wisconsin SUV accused of driving through a crowd at the 2021 Waukesha Christmas parade was found guilty Wednesday....
BREAKING: Fetterman invites Biden on campaign trail to make him look good
PENNSYLVANIA—Pennsylvania Democrat and U.S. Senate Candidate John Fetterman, became the first candidate in his party to ask President Biden for...
Support for Biden surges among vampires after he announces plan to blot out the sun
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Administration announced plans this week to halt climate change by blocking out the sun, and SuperPAC Vampires for an...
AOC: ‘We can seriously reduce crime if we just legalize shoving people onto subway train tracks’
NEW YORK—The epidemic of people shoving other people onto train tracks in New York subway stations has gotten the attention...
Dr. Evil sues Alex Jones for $Gazillion Bajillion
AUSTIN- Supervillain Dr. Evil's legal team announced a new lawsuit against Alex Jones seeking a gazillion bajillion dollar settlement.Dr. Evil...
Stacey Abrams: ‘If we abort 2 Million babies this year we could send another $40 Billion to Ukraine’
ATLANTA—Georgia gubernatorial candidate and perennial election denier Stacey Abrams is promoting a savvy economic plan. "Inflation is really hitting us...
How opposing nuclear war is a sign of white supremacy
I don't know who needs to hear this but opposing Biden's forthcoming nuclear war is a sign of white supremacy...
