BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Jury confuses Alex Jones with Volodymyr Zelensky, orders him to pay $1 billion
The jury in the Alex Jones Sandy Hook defamation suite has confused Jones with Ukrainian money launderer Volodymyr Zelensky and...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
PayPal fines itself $2500 for spreading misinformation about its own misinformation policy
HADES, California—Payment company PayPal fined itself $2500 for violating its own misinformation policy after being criticized recently by people on...
California celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 6 people to climate goddess Greta Thunberg
Everyone already knows that Columbus was a literal Hitler from the 15th century and that all woke people celebrate Indigenous...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris announces new NFL rules ‘based on equity’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference today, Vice President* Kamala Harris announced that the NFL will move to a new scoring...
White House Forced to Walk Back Biden’s ‘I am the President’ Remark
During an interview on CBS’s 60 Minutes, Joe Biden claimed that he was “the President of the United States.” Biden’s...
BREAKING: Feds may have enough evidence on Hunter Biden to ignore it and do nothing just like they’ve been doing the last 3 years
WASHINTON, DC—Federal law enforcement agencies say they now may have enough evidence on Hunter Biden to absolutely ignore it and...
BREAKING: Zelensky wins Nobel Peace Prize for refusing to negotiate peace
OSLO, Norway—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has won the 2022 Nobel Peace Prize for refusing to hold peace talks with Russia....
BREAKING: Elon Musk offers to buy embattled Ukraine for $44 billion too
AUSTIN—Just hours after the world's wealthiest person Elon Musk agreed to let the purchase of embattled social media company Twitter...
FBI opens investigation into Kanye West for allegedly being a black white supremacist
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation has opened an investigation into Kanye West for allegedly being a black white supremacist,...
Here Are Other Times Biden Recalled Stories That Never Happened
President Biden has this strange tendency of recalling stories that never actually happened. No one’s exactly sure what processes are...
