BRILLIANT: Tesla unveils ‘Original’ and ‘Extra Crispy’ models 
Mitch McConnell Shatters Personal Record with 25-Hour Blank Stare, Inspired by Cory Booker’s Filibuster 
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!” 
BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients 
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous 
Burger King releases new gay burger topped with monkeypox or AIDS
Burger King wants its customers to be fully immersed in Pride this year by releasing their new Gay Whoppers, which...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
Gender reveal party delayed 3 years while parents decide identity for child
CALICO, CA—A local gender reveal party has been delayed for three years while the parents decide what identity the child...
BREAKING: Russia threatens to nuke East & West coast US; most Americans pretty okay with that
MOSCOW—A member of Russia's Parliament warned the U.S. that President Vladimir Putin could wipe out the East and West Coasts with...
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau’s security to use only NERF guns from now on
OTTAWA—In a bold move, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has prohibited guns for people protecting him and will instead will...
EXCLUSIVE: Uvalde Chief told cops to ‘stand down’ until they learned shooters ‘preferred pronouns’
UVALDE, TEXAS—Many have wondered why it took so long for Uvalde police to respond to a homocidal maniac at an...
Pelosi calls husband’s DUI a ‘setup’ by Putin
NAPA VALLEY, CALIFORNIA—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's husband and designated driver was arrested Sunday for driving under the influence...
Biden: ‘How many false flag shootings do we have to have before you give up your rights?’
UVALDE, TEXAS—President* Joe Biden paid respects to the families of 19 students and two teachers slain during a mass shooting at...
‘You don’t need guns to protect yourself’ says politician being protected by men with guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Several politicians being protected by men with guns including President* Joe Biden have come out in favor of gun...
