Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
Pfizer reminds women they can still get an abortion by getting another COVID vaccine
US—Pfizer has reminded women in the United States that they can still get an abortion following the Supreme Court's overturning...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Moloch to accept credit card donations for those who can’t sacrifice their babies to him anymore
US—In the wake of the Supreme Court of the United States overturning Roe v. Wade, the Canaan god Moloch, known...
BREAKING: Dozens of fat ugly women won’t have sex with you until you support killing babies
US—Following the leak of the SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v Wade, many brave and entirely unattractive feminists have taken to...
BREAKING: Roe v Wade reinstated as Democrats find 150,000 Supreme Court votes at 2am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court has reversed its earlier decision to overturn Roe versus Wade...
Planned Parenthood signs lease with Spirit Halloween after SCOTUS overturns Roe v Wade
US—In a savvy business move, the nation's leading abortion provider Planned Parenthood has signed a lease with Spirit Halloween to...
CNN: Insurrection is okay again
(CNN) Following the devastating Supreme Court ruling overturning the hallowed Constitution and Roe v Wade, insurrection is okay again. Many...
The ‘Love Wins’ crowd threatens to ‘Burn it all down’ if they can’t keep killing babies
US—The "Love Wins" crowd has threatened to "Burn it all down" if they can't keep killing babies following the Supreme...
OPINION: If you don’t like the SCOTUS decision, then you can just start your own judicial system
Ok dear reader, if I know you, and you certainly know me, then I know you are having a terrible,...
Biden’s FDA bans Juul from selling e-cigarettes; approves them selling crack instead
WASHINGTON, DC—A new report says that the Food and Drug Administration is planning to cut off Juul e-cigarettes from the...
Vatican releases new 30-piece silver coin set to honor the true god of science
VATICAN—Pope Francis has announced a new 30 piece silver set of official currency to honor the true god of science....
