Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
Joe Rogan replaces Neil Young in Crosby, Stills & Nash supergroup
Legendary folk rock supergroup Crosby, Stills & Nash announced comedian Joe Rogan joined the band and will begin touring unvaccinated-mandated...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Fauci: new federal ‘Jumbo’, XXX size anal swabs approved for TSA airport use
WASHINGTON, DC—Airline travel will be much safer with the use of the new Omicron, XXX anal swabs being utilized by...
OPED: I was raped by whoever Biden chooses to replace Breyer on the Supreme Court
This is incredibly difficult for me to do but I feel that it’s necessary to come forward and expose the...
Introducing Clarissa Thomas, the first black female Supreme Court justice
President* Joe Biden promised that he would pick a black female to replace Justice Stephen Breyer on the country's highest...
Biden vows to make SCOTUS more diverse by picking first human turd to replace Justice Breyer
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the announcement that Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is stepping down, President* Joe Biden promised to make the...
Neil Young diagnosed with SIS; put on career ventilator, fans hold vigil for Spotify sales
REDWOOD CITY—Singer, songwriter Neil Young was admitted into the PR firm of APCO last night, suffering from delusions of importance...
Biden declares ‘All borders should be protected except for ours’
WASHINGTON, DC—At a press conference on the Ukraine crisis, President* Biden declared that "All borders should be protected except for...
Facebook launches new ‘vaccinated heart’ react icon complete with myocarditis
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook, which is also known by its new name Fascbook has launched a new react button icon to...
Russia amasses troops at Ukraine border to spell ‘Let’s Go Brandon!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Pentagon officials have released of aerial photos of Russian tanks, trucks and equipment amassing on the Ukraine border positioned...
POLL: What color should Anthony Fauci’s prison jumpsuit be?
We at Genesius Times want to make sure Dr. Fauci looks great while he's in jail for mass murder, so...
