Someone from the “Hate Has No Home Here” crowd just tried to kill another person again 
BREAKING: People who have been calling for violence targeting Trump for 10 years ‘shocked’ of all the violence targeting Trump 
Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg Files Charges Against Trump for Surviving Another Assassination Attempt 
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true 
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center 
BREAKING: Pope Francis bans all ‘assault rosaries’ from Catholic homes, churches
THE VATICAN—Following the Atlantic's article identifying the rosary as an "extremist" assault weapon, the Holy Father has moved to ban...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Tulsi Gabbard Venmos Nanci Pelosi $600.01 forcing the IRS to audit Pelosi’s finances
US—Former Representative Tulsi Gabbard has sent $600.01 through Venmo to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, which will force the...
BREAKING: Liz Cheney being airlifted from Wyoming to DC following primary election
CHEYENNE, WY—Republican Liz Cheney was seen being airlifted out of her Wyoming habitat after residents in the state overwhelmingly voted...
BREAKING: Supporting law enforcement is okay again
(CNN)—Millions of "Defund the Police" activists are cheering the FBI raid on former president Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate and criticizing the...
BREAKING: Biden changes nuclear codes to ‘password’ to be more secure following Trump raid
WASHINGTON, DC—Following reports that former President Donald Trump has been selling the nation's nuclear codes as part of his 2024...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden tests positive for every disease except COVID
US—During this global health crisis, austere businessman Hunter Biden has tested positive for every disease except for COVID, which is...
Mastering Your Finances With Better Money Management
If even thinking about money management gives you a headache, you’re far from alone. Many people get stressed out thinking...
BREAKING: Anonymous source says Trump is selling nuclear codes as part of 2024 fundraiser
WASHINGTON, DC—An anonymous insider source has confirmed that former President Donald Trump is actively selling US nuclear codes to his...
BREAKING: Twitter suspends the CDC for contradicting the CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned the Centers for Disease Control and Propagation (CDC) indefinitely from its platform...
Historians remove Nicolaus Copernicus for denying scientific consensus
US—Nicolaus Copernicus was a Renaissance polymath, active as a mathematician, astronomer, and Catholic canon, whose statements frequently contradict the scientific consensus on the Earth...
