Nick Saban urges Senate to save college football by returning to paying players under the table 
Trump Confirms Reflecting Pool Filled With 100% Ethically-Sourced Liberal Tears 
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face 
BREAKING: Becerra Rockets to Top of California Gubernatorial Polls After Debuting Nazi Tattoo 
California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
Lizzo urges fans to vote to overturn the law of gravity which is ‘oppressing us’
US—Obese singer Lizzo used her moment in the spotlight at MTV’s Video Music Awards (VMAs) to urge her fans to...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
New cookbook reveals favorite recipes of the FBI
US—A new cookbook reveals all the favorite recipes of the FBI including ████████ and █████ ███! "We thought, we're not...
BREAKING: Zelensky applies for $400 Billion student loan from US
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has applied for a $400 Billion student loan just weeks after Biden promised to make American...
Paul Pelosi rushes to take out millions in student loans before Biden makes you pay for them
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Paul Pelosi, husband of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has rushed to take out several million dollars...
JUST IN: Pfizer releases new delivery mechanism for monkeyox vaccines
US—After backlash over the news of the Pfizer vaccines and boosters, the pharmaceutical giant has released a new delivery method...
BREAKING: Biden to transfer all home mortgage loans to homeless people and renters
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the popular move to "forgive" student debt and transfer it to people who never went to college, President*...
BREAKING: Redacted FBI warrant for Mar-a-Lago raid just says ‘Orange Man Bad’
WASHINGTON, DC—The Justice Department released a sealed version of its proposed redactions to the FBI affidavit used to get a...
Biden clarifies that student loan forgiveness will only be for people with completely worthless degrees like ‘Gender Studies’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden clarified his student loan forgiveness program today, stating that it will only apply to people with completely...
Brittney Griner celebrates 140 days being drug-free
MOSCOW—WNBA superstar Brittney Griner celebrated 140 days being drug free today while serving a 9-year-sentence for possessing marijuana in Russia....
McConnell outraged at Biden canceling student debt: ‘We could have sent that $300B to Ukraine!’
WASHINGTON, DC—House Minority leader Mitch McConnell said he is outraged about President* Joe Biden’s student loan forgiveness, which he announced...