Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda 
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance 
Harris Campaign Floats Rumor Of Trump Cameo For Next Rally
WASHINGTON, DC—"Hey, it worked at the convention when we leaked Beyoncé and Taylor Swift, didn't it?" said Harris spokesperson Ihay...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AG Merrick Garland warns MAGA Americans not to “interfere” in 2024 election by voting
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a stern warning issued from the Justice Department, Attorney General Merrick Garland has urged MAGA Americans to not...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris finally achieves goal of unity as everyone comes together against her
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Kamala Harris has long spoken about her desire to unite the country, and this week, she finally...
BREAKING: 17-year-old at DNC horrified to learn he’s Tim Walz’s son
CHICAGO—A 17-year-old political enthusiast at the Democratic National Convention was left in utter dismay after discovering that his long-lost father...
Allowing people to vote for anyone besides Kamala Harris is a threat to Democracy!
In these turbulent times, we must be vigilant about safeguarding our most cherished institution: democracy. And what is democracy, if...
Multi-millionaire with three homes lectures Americans about ‘not taking more than what you need’
CHICAGO — In a heartfelt and humbling address at the Democratic National Convention, former First Lady and multi-millionaire Michelle Obama,...
Planned Parenthood offering free abortions to anti-genocide Democrats
CHICAGO, IL — Planned Parenthood has unveiled its latest initiative: offering free abortions to attendees of the Anti-Genocide Democrat Convention....
‘On Day 1’ Kamala Harris promises to fix everything that is so great and perfect right now because of her administration
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a fiery campaign speech delivered to a crowd of bewildered supporters, Vice President Kamala Harris made...
BREAKING: Walls are okay again
CHICAGO, IL — In a stunning reversal of their long-standing opposition to border walls, the Democratic National Convention Committee (DNCC)...
BREAKING: The DNC dyes Chicago River red to celebrate abortion
CHICAGO, IL — In a bold and controversial move, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) dyed the Chicago River red today...
