BREAKING: Iran Releases ‘Irrefutable Evidence’ They Downed US ‘Superweapon’ 
Congress pauses demanding release of Epstein files in order to block release of congressional sex abuse files 
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy 
Iranian general writes scathing 1-star review for Chinese military drones purchased on Temu 
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon 
AOC: The Minneapolis school shooting didn’t really happen because there are no guns allowed at schools
In the aftermath of what has been reported as a tragic event at Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, I find...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Mel Gibson starts filming Braveheart 2: the true story of 12-year-old girl fending off predatory migrants
Mel Gibson has reportedly set his sights on Dundee, Scotland, for the filming of "Braveheart 2: The Return of the...
Gavin Newsom gets bold makeover to ‘appear more presidential’
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom unveiled a dramatic new look this week, sporting a bleach-blond combover and a radiant spray tan...
New WNBA Fans Grow Frustrated Waiting For Next Dildo Toss
The WNBA is basking in a wave of new fans, but not all are thrilled with the league’s pacing. Oran...
Chicago Mayor vows to fight Trump if he tries to take away the right of his people to rape and murder each other
CHICAGO — In a fiery press conference, Mayor Brandon Johnson declared he is ready to “go to war” with former...
BREAKING: Kilmar Garcia Released From Prison To Find Cure For Cancer
ANNAPOLIS, MD—Kilmar Garcia, a Maryland man previously incarcerated for unspecified charges, was released from prison this week to pursue his...
Mona Lisa Get Ready With Me Video
Big News from Genesius Times We’ve spared no expense to bring in top-tier talent for our new Beauty & Style...
BREAKING: FBI Raids John Bolton’s Mustache in Pre-Dawn Operation
In a stunning escalation of federal overreach, the FBI conducted a dramatic 4 a.m. raid on former National Security Advisor...
Britons paint St George Cross on illegal immigrants in hopes that the government will actually start removing them
LONDON—In a peculiar escalation of Britain’s immigration debate, citizens across the country have begun painting the St. George’s Cross on...
After Backlash, Cracker Barrel Reverts to ‘Old-Timer’ Logo, Slaps Sydney Sweeney on for Good Measure
In a move that screams “we hear you, but also, please look at this shiny distraction,” Cracker Barrel Old Country...