BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony 
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love 
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation 
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote 
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo 
BREAKING: Wars Breakout All Over Hell As Dick Cheney Welcomed In
HELL—In a development that has even the most jaded demons reaching for their pitchforks, Hell descended into unprecedented chaos this...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Avoiding Emotional Spending
Most advice about emotional spending starts with budgets and apps. I want to begin a little closer to home. Before...
OBAMA: ‘Blacks MUST vote for other Blacks unless they disagree with my politics’
Op Ed by Barack H. Obama As we stand on the precipice of another pivotal election—yes, even in off-years like...
Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years
A local man is living in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years. "I've done my work and I...
Financial influencer boldly predicts prices will either go up or go down following Fed announcement
NEW YORK– In a move that has left investors both dazzled and deeply unenlightened, renowned financial influencer Chad "The Bull...
Pop star who sounds like a duck being brutalized without autotune condemns AI-generated music
LOS ANGELES—Quackella Jolie issued a scathing broadside against AI-generated music Wednesday, mere hours after a viral clip exposed her unfiltered...
Trump Dedicates White House ‘Ball’room to Michelle Obama, Cites Bipartisan Appeal
Washington, D.C. – In a bid for what he termed "finally some positive press – believe me, it's overdue," President...
Thousands of Muslims Flock to America to Enjoy the Exquisite Torment of Systematic Islamophobia
In a stunning reversal of historical migration patterns, thousands of Muslims from war-torn, dictator-ruled, or simply boring countries have begun...
Critics worried about Trump’s 70-story White House glow up
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left architectural purists and budget hawks clutching their artisanal coffee mugs, President-elect...
Local man buys $900 3D printer so he can make cheap Chinese junk at home for 10 times the price
In a bold leap toward self-sufficiency, local man Greg Thompson, 38, has unveiled his latest venture: crafting budget-tier Chinese trinkets...
