BREAKING: Catholic Cardinals Elect Joe Biden as Pope After Mysterious 3 AM Vote Surge 
BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’ 
BREAKING: India bombs Pakistan after they refused to send their ‘bobs and vagene’ 
Massachusetts Judge Bans Trump from Being President, Cites ‘Orange Man Bad’ Doctrine 
BREAKING: Trump Ends US-Canada Trade War with Bold Swap: Seattle and Portland for Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba 
Cuomo to put armed violent felons in nursing homes to fight gun violence
ALBANY, NY—New York Governor Andrew Cuomo plans on killing 15,000 elderly people with gun violence in the next coming months...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
My glasses won’t work unless you wear yours
I don't know who needs to hear this but everyone needs to wear glasses, even if they don't need them...
Collector who wants to buy Hunter Biden’s piece of sh*t for $500k wants to remain anonymous
LOS ANGELES, CA—Hunter Biden is preparing to sell several piles of his own feces at an upcoming art exhibition for as...
Biden bans ‘assault Legos’ after FBI finds Capitol set at Jan 6 rioter’s home
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden on Thursday announced a ban on assault Legos after the FBI revealed they had seized a “fully...
Delta+ now streaming! Act now and get Lambda Variant at no extra cost!
BURBANK, CA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) on Tuesday officially launched Delta+ variant of the COVID pandemic, its...
‘I have never but once prayed to God: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And He granted it.’
I have some great quotes but this one is probably the best! "I have never made but one prayer to...
White House unveils uniforms for new door-to-door vaccine informants
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Joe Biden announced Tuesday that his administration would step up efforts to get Americans vaccinated against COVID-19 with a new...
BREAKING: Haitian President Jovenel Moïse to expose Clinton Foundation fraud tomorrow
The Clintons fundraising activities have long been raising justified concerns. However, foreign investigations into the Clinton Foundation’s activities are moving...
Getting a tan on the beach is cultural appropriation of Blacks and must be outlawed
I recently visited a beach in the progressive utopia of California and what do you think I saw? I'll tell...
72 Chicagoans shot by black white supremacists July 4th weekend
US—As President* Joe Biden has made abundantly clear, white supremacy is the most lethal threat to America—more deadly than Antifa...
