BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
Zelensky launches new reality TV show: Dancing with the Tsars in bold war-fundraising effort 
Google removes Kyle Rittenhouse doodle after receiving complaints
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Search engine behemoth Google commemorated the Kenosha, WI unrest shooter Kyle Rittenhouse today with a fun doodle illustration...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Mostly peaceful Hamas fires mostly peaceful rockets into Israel
(CNN) ISRAEL—The mostly peaceful terrorist organization Hamas has fired a number of mostly peaceful rockets toward Jerusalem today, setting off...
BREAKING: Biden denies hacking of ‘most secure gas pipeline ever’
WASHINGTON, DC—Reports came in over the weekend of a potential hacking of the Colonial Pipeline, which carried fuel from Mexico...
REPORT: Netanyahu to form coalition government by the year 2089
ISRAEL—The Jerusalem Post reported today that with the high number of failed coalition governments, experts predict that Prime Minister Benjamin...
BREAKING: Supreme Court cancels itself after discovering ties to slavery
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts announced that the Supreme Court of the United States is cancelling...
BREAKING: FBI thoroughly investigating the source of Matt Gaetz’s perfect hair
WASHINGTON, DC--The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been working on a shocking case involving US Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL). The...
LeBron James literally oppresses me by making millions playing a game a white man invented
Can we talk about the fact that LeBron James is literally killing me by making millions of dollars playing a...
Texas publishes helpful map for Californians looking to move to the state
AUSTIN—The Texas Board of Californian Resettlement (TBCR) has published a helpful map for all the Californians seeking asylum in their...
REPORT: Dr. Fauci working on creating more viruses so he can stay relevant forever
WASHINGTON, DC—If there’s anyone in more dire need right now of staying relevant for as long as possible, it’s Dr....
To ensure equality, NBA will now end all games in 93-93 tie
LOS ANGELES—The National Basketball Association is putting its money where its social justice mouth is. To ensure equality in the...
