BREAKING: Catholic Cardinals Elect Joe Biden as Pope After Mysterious 3 AM Vote Surge 
BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’ 
BREAKING: India bombs Pakistan after they refused to send their ‘bobs and vagene’ 
Massachusetts Judge Bans Trump from Being President, Cites ‘Orange Man Bad’ Doctrine 
BREAKING: Trump Ends US-Canada Trade War with Bold Swap: Seattle and Portland for Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba 
Selfie-taking 8-year-old arrested at Capitol for insurrection
WASHINGTON DC- Eight year-old Emma Thompson was arrested by the FBI yesterday at the U.S. Capitol building moments after taking...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: FBI foils insurrection plot devised by the FBI
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has foiled the January 6 insurrection plot devised by the FBI, US Attorney General* Merrick Garland said...
Newsom assures Californians his vaccine passports will be ‘super cute’
SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom announced a new way to show that you've been vaccinated against COVID-19 and allayed fears about...
OPED: How many people have to die before we enact common sense Clinton control?
After the "suicide" of the reporter who broke the Clinton-Lynch tarmac story, Clinton control is again at the forefront of...
BREAKING: Democrats vote to remove Southern states from US for ties to slavery
WASHINGTON DC—In a shocking and unprecedented move, congressional Democrats have voted to remove Southern states from the Union for their...
Ryan Gosling is George Floyd in the new BLM production based on true events
It's sure to win several Oscars. If it doesn't you're racist. You're all racists.
Harris/Biden administration to transfer all student debt to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President* Kamala Harris made a bold promise today, promising to make everyone who has paid off their student...
Time: Biden taking on stairs
Did you catch a wiff of the new Time cover? Those aviators! "On his way to meet Vladimir Putin, Secret...
David Hogg campaigns to ban assault donations like those used on AOC’s abuela
HOGG HEAVEN, FL—Activist David Hogg, who is known for his fight to ban guns and his MyPillow competition MyDillow, has...
CNN rehires Jeffrey Toobin as Chief OnlyFans Correspondent
In a touching story of redemption, Jeffrey Toobin returned to CNN following his embarrassing departure when the former Chief Legal...
