In lieu of aid, Kamala enrolls California fire victims in Jelly of the Month Club 
Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million 
AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
John Kerry seen unloading private jet from transport jet en route to Climate Conference
President Biden's Climate Czar John Kerry was accused by critics of attempting to stage a photo op on Saturday after...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
MLB changes name to Baseball League Matters in response to protest
ATLANTA—Major League Baseball (MLB) has changed its name to Baseball League Matters (BLM) in response to the protest of its...
Lightfoot reminds Chicagoans to mask up this weekend to keep everyone safe while shooting each other
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a public announcement, reminding Chicagoans to wear a mask this weekend to keep everyone safe while...
IDs are racist except when they’re for buying a gun, flying, driving, adopting a pet…
I don't know what bigots need to hear this but IDs (ie identification cards) are purely racist tools of CIS-gender-normative...
AOC slams long lines at McDonald’s as ‘diner suppression’
NEW YORK—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Socialist-NY) took to Twitter today accusing McDonald’s of ‘diner suppression’ over long waiting lines at the...
Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...
GOP to hold hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings
WASHINGTON, DC—Republican lawmakers have scheduled a hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings, sources say. "We have...
BREAKING: FBI has evidence of Matt Gaetz engaging in sex trafficking and illicit drugs with minors
WASHINGTON, DC--The FBI has photographic and video evidence of Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL) participating in sexual activities and engaging in...
No you can’t just ‘identify’ as being vaccinated. That only works with social constructs like having a penis.
It has come to my attention that so-called people are trying to act like they "identify" as being vaccinated without...
