CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
Vivek Ramaswamy: ‘I shoulda ran as a black dude’ like Kamala
US—Hindsight being 20/20, a reflective Vivek Ramaswamy looks back at his presidential run with a newfound clarity. “Yeah, looking back,...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Thomas Matthew Crooks headlines ‘White Dudes for Harris’ Zoom call from his room in Hell
US—Thomas Matthew Crooks, the man accused of attempting to assassinate former President Donald Trump, has found an unlikely second career...
BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles
PARIS—In a shocking and unprecedented incident at the Paris 2024 Olympics, Italian boxer Angela Carini has become the first athlete...
BREAKING: 100,000 brave ‘Cucks for Kamala’ donate their testicles to the Harris campaign
US—Not to be outdone by the Karens for Kamala, 100,000 self-proclaimed "Cucks for Kamala" (also known as the "White Dudes...
KAMALA HARRIS: ‘We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to save democracy!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has made a bold declaration: "We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to...
BREAKING: Harris picks ‘Hawk Tuah’ Girl for VP
In a move that has turned the political world upside down, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced the "Hawk Tuah"...
BREAKING: 51 former intelligence officials report that rumors Donald Trump was ever president are ‘Russian disinformation’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a groundbreaking revelation, 51 former intelligence officials have issued a statement declaring that rumors of Donald Trump ever...
BREAKING: Paris Olympics Adds ‘Dodging Fire and Brimstone’ Event Following Blasphemous Opening Ceremonies
PARIS—In an unexpected twist, the 2024 Paris Olympics Committee has announced the addition of a new event: "Dodging Fire and...
Kamala Harris demands $1billion in reparations from herself for the slaves her ancestors owned
WASHINGTON, D.C.— In a bold and unprecedented move, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced that she will be paying herself...
REPORT: Kamala Harris sacrificed two babies to Moloch to get Barack Obama’s endorsement
WASHINGTON, DC— In an unprecedented and shocking move, Vice President Kamala Harris has reportedly sacrificed two babies to the ancient...
