Someone from the “Hate Has No Home Here” crowd just tried to kill another person again 
BREAKING: People who have been calling for violence targeting Trump for 10 years ‘shocked’ of all the violence targeting Trump 
Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg Files Charges Against Trump for Surviving Another Assassination Attempt 
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true 
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center 
BREAKING: All global sex trafficking halted as Facebook suffers outage
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—All global sex trafficking operations have been halted as the social media giant Facebook and its subsidiaries Instagram...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: California legalizes needle rape for K-12 schools
SACRAMENTO—California on Friday became the first state to legalize needle rape for all public and private schoolchildren, a move affecting...
YouTube bans YouTube for showing videos of the CDC contradicting the CDC
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Google’s media giant YouTube has been banned indefinitely from its own video streaming service for violating its community...
AOC: ‘We must ban butter to save these poor butterflies!’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new push toward a more just and equitable climate, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has made a...
Breaking WELY News Update
The US government is collapsing and we’re pretending it’s not! All in the latest news update! Stay current on the...
Bill Gates warns he can’t turn on the 5G depopulation switch until everyone’s vaccinated
SEATTLE—Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Chair Bill Gates has warned that he can't turn on the 5G depopulation switch until...
Biden narrowly misses price of the $3.5 trillion budget on Price is Right by $3.5 trillion
BURBANK, California—Joe Biden narrowly missed the correct price on a $3.5 trillion budget on the Price is Right today, guessing...
Australia officially returns to being a prison colony
SYDNEY, Australia—Australia began as a prison colony for the United Kingdom and they have officially returned to being just a...
BREAKING: Biden deports all horses to Mexico
Equine members of the Animal Kingdom have been a part of man's civilization for thousands of years. Horses have been...
Australian cops to beat protesters until they learn being unvaxxed is bad for your health
MELBOURNE, Australia—Police across the city and country are continuing a campaign to beat protesters until they learn that being unvaccinated...
