Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose his place in “Home Alone...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: New York sues Trump for making America too great
NEW YORK—New York Attorney General Letitia James announced today that once Trump leaves office, she’ll be launching a criminal investigation...
Forest fire arsonist identified as Squirrel Lives Matter activist
SAN OAK, CA—Months after forest fires destroyed thousands of acres of woodland, a four-legged arsonist, Chippy Nutfield, has been arrested....
Antifa disappointed they won’t have any fascists to protest after Trump leaves
WASHINGTON, DC—Black Lives Matter and Antifa are disappointed over not having any excuses to riot once Trump leaves office. “I’m...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
BREAKING: Trump hasn’t condemned violence in last 3.4 seconds
(CNN) President Donald Trump has not denounced violence in the last 3.4 seconds, which clearly means that he supports a violence insurrection...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez suggests nuking sun at night when it’s colder to fight climate change
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the internet by storm today when she suggested that the federal government should nuke...
BREAKING: Biden declares Republicans will only get 3/5ths of a vote from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold strategy to unify the country, President-elect Joe Biden has declared that, going forward, Republicans will only...
CNN: Trump promises peaceful transition of power, just like Hitler
(CNN) President Trump has officially promised a peaceful transition of power, just like Hitler. I’m actually being dead serious about...
BREAKING: Trump says he won’t leave White House because of ban on evictions
WASHINGTON, DC—President Trump issued a statement saying that he won't leave the White House next week when his term ends...
