Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Biden rallies break out across Philadelphia following police shooting
Philadelphia city officials have issued a curfew for Wednesday night, after two days of Joe Biden rallies left dozens of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Hunter Biden secures election night sponsors for his dad
WILMINGTON, DE—Hunter Biden has secured several election night sponsors for his dad, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden. “I knew Hunter...
Liberal projectile tears found to be the source of water on the moon
For hundreds of years, researchers and explorers have failed to find evidence of water on the Moon. But just recently...
MS-13 gang members threaten to leave US if Trump is reelected
US—Following the lead of celebrities who have threatened to leave the US is Trump is reelected, members of the notorious...
New polls show Biden winning nearly every province in China
BEIJING—A new Pew Pew poll shows that Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is winning in nearly every province in China...
In first act as associate justice, Amy Barrett mandates every woman have 10 children
WASHINGTON DC—The worst fears of progressives across the country have been realized as Amy Coney Barrett, in her first act...
Dar’shun Kendrick slams Trump for claiming ‘seals’ killed bin Laden
ATLANTA—Progressive journalists and politicians are not letting President Donald Trump get away with any more lies. They quickly and ferociously...
Michelle Obama named most admired man in the world for first time
Former first lady Michelle Obama now holds the top spot for most admired man in the world in the British data firm...
Polls show Trump will lose to Biden as bad as he lost to Hillary
US—Presidential polls are showing that President Trump will lose to Joe Biden as bad as he lost to Hillary Clinton...
POLL: 93.7% of all poll numbers are made up
BOSTON—MIT spokesman, Paul Rolls put it right out there, “Polls are full of sh*t! Our poll using our monster super...
