Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
Sweet Meteor O’Death surges in the polls after dismal presidential debate
CLEVELAND—The inanimate celestial body Sweet Meteor O'Death, which will be passing by Earth shortly before the US presidential election surged...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden falls asleep while Trump argues with moderator during first debate
CLEVELAND—President Trump came out swinging in the first presidential debate of 2020 but focused most of his attention on the...
Biden accidentally brings wooden paddle to knife fight
The first 2020 Presidential debate is Tuesday, September 29 at 9, Eastern and the 'guys' just can't wait. President Trump...
BREAKING: Amy Barrett caught sneaking into Supreme Court, eating cereal
WASHINGTON DC—Amy Coney Barrett is up to her 'high jinx' again. Caught sneaking into the Supreme Court room by the...
Joe “Smash” Biden rejects pre-debate test: ‘no reason to suspect I take any drugs’
WILMINGTON, DE- Presidential candidate Joe Biden has refused to honor President Donald Trump's request for debate participants to take a...
BREAKING: Biden pulls out of debates unless they provide several nap breaks
CLEVELAND—US Presidential Candidate Joe Biden says he won't debate President Trump unless there are ample nap breaks during the grandest...
Biden switches VP from Kamala to pro ‘deal maker’ Wayne Brady
Presidential hopeful Joe Biden campaign officials confirmed the switch from Kamala Harris to Let's Make a Deal host, Wayne Brady....
Newsom signs executive order releasing prison inmates who don’t ‘identify’ as a criminals
SACRAMENTO—California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) signed an executive order Saturday allowing inmates to be released from prison immediately if they don't "identify" as a...
BREAKING: Jill Biden arrested for elderly abuse
WILMINGTON, DE—After months of forcing her senior-citizen husband Joe Biden into the public spotlight despite his declining cognitive inabilities, Jill...
BREAKING: Trump SCOTUS pick Barrett tried pineapple on her pizza in college
(CNN)—Leading congressional Democrats are calling for the withdrawal of President Trump's Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett after evidence has...
