Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
Democrats charge Amy Barrett with racism for only having 2 black children
US--Democrats across the country have declared President Trump's third Supreme Court Justice nominee Amy Coney Barrett racist for only having...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Senate Democrats prepare SCOTUS nominee Amy Barrett for questioning
Democratic senators on the Senate Judiciary Committee have chucked their white suits and dresses for more appropriate attire, wearing Roman...
China pinky-promises to lower carbon emissions by 2069
BEIJING—Xi Jinping and all of his advisors have pinky-promised to lower their country’s emissions by the year 2069. The promise...
All food packaging to feature at least one Obama from now on
The Mars company announced today they are 'Racist No More' and have signed Barack Obama to replace the outdated Uncle...
Biden says his white supremacy is okay because he ‘is black’
WORSCHESTER, PA—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden says that his white supremacy is "okay" because he is black. "C'mon man! You...
Hooked on Phonics releases ‘How to Argue Like a Liberal’ course
The educational program Hooked on Phonics has released an innovative new course entitled "How to Argue Like a Liberal," complete...
#metoo changes name to #hetoo ahead of Trump’s female SCOTUS pick
WASHINGTON DC—The civil rights #metoo campaign, which was pivotal in the fight against literal Hitler Brett Kavanaugh has changed its...
I faked COVID and had the best 14 days of the pandemic. You should too.
I didn’t plan on defrauding my boss, my colleagues or my family. But one day I sneezed on a conference...
Anticipating SCOTUS riots: Trump calls up clone army
Fearing Democrats will make good on their threats and burn down America if he so much as whispers a nomination...
Republicans encourage Nancy Pelosi to join Ginsburg in a new kind of #MeToo movement
WASHINGTON DC—As we have heard from virtually every Democrat in both the House and Senate, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a...
