Crenshaw dyes hair purple to win back ‘Most Revolting Person In DC’ title 
CNN: Car mostly-peacefully drives itself into Magdeburg Christmas market 
‘Climate change is the single greatest threat to humanity’ says the guy who’s trying to start a global thermonuclear war 
Rep Crenshaw has started wearing 2 eye patches so he doesn’t have to read what’s being said about him on X 
BREAKING: Powell announces Federal Reserve has added Hawk Tuah Girl to advisory role 
Thomas Matthew Crooks headlines ‘White Dudes for Harris’ Zoom call from his room in Hell
US—Thomas Matthew Crooks, the man accused of attempting to assassinate former President Donald Trump, has found an unlikely second career...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles
PARIS—In a shocking and unprecedented incident at the Paris 2024 Olympics, Italian boxer Angela Carini has become the first athlete...
BREAKING: 100,000 brave ‘Cucks for Kamala’ donate their testicles to the Harris campaign
US—Not to be outdone by the Karens for Kamala, 100,000 self-proclaimed "Cucks for Kamala" (also known as the "White Dudes...
KAMALA HARRIS: ‘We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to save democracy!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has made a bold declaration: "We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to...
BREAKING: Harris picks ‘Hawk Tuah’ Girl for VP
In a move that has turned the political world upside down, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced the "Hawk Tuah"...
BREAKING: 51 former intelligence officials report that rumors Donald Trump was ever president are ‘Russian disinformation’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a groundbreaking revelation, 51 former intelligence officials have issued a statement declaring that rumors of Donald Trump ever...
BREAKING: Paris Olympics Adds ‘Dodging Fire and Brimstone’ Event Following Blasphemous Opening Ceremonies
PARIS—In an unexpected twist, the 2024 Paris Olympics Committee has announced the addition of a new event: "Dodging Fire and...
Kamala Harris demands $1billion in reparations from herself for the slaves her ancestors owned
WASHINGTON, D.C.— In a bold and unprecedented move, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced that she will be paying herself...
REPORT: Kamala Harris sacrificed two babies to Moloch to get Barack Obama’s endorsement
WASHINGTON, DC— In an unprecedented and shocking move, Vice President Kamala Harris has reportedly sacrificed two babies to the ancient...
MSDNC Poll: 5 out of 4 Americans Prefer Kamala Harris Over Donald Trump for President
NEW YORK— In a shocking and totally statistically sound survey, MSDNC has released a new poll revealing that 5 out...
