‘Trump Can’t Buy Me for $5,000,’ Says Local Man Who Got Experimental Jab for a Free Donut 
AOC Asks How 9/11 Victims ‘Died in Alphabetical Order’ During Memorial Reading 
Yes, Black Lives Matter… Unless They Disagree with Liberals 
9/11 Drone Show to Recreate Perfectly Intact Hijacker Passport Escaping Fiery Inferno 
NCAA Rules Michigan May Keep Playing Until They Win 
Emmy winner Andrew Cuomo to star in new sitcom ‘How I Killed Your Grandmother’
NEW YORK—Emmy award winner and New York Governor landed a great role in the new sitcom "How I Killed Your...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Trump fails to condemn violence following impeachment acquittal
(CNN) President Trump was acquitted in his second impeachment trial on Saturday, but there was one thing notably missing –...
Biden signs executive order mandating Gorilla Glue face masks for all Americans
WASHINGTON, DC—Dominion-elected-President Joe Biden has already signed several executive orders as the USA transitions into a communist state. His latest...
Donald Trump is the first back-to-back impeachment champion ever
WASHINGTON, DC—There has never been a two-time, let alone a back-to-back impeachment champion until now. Donald Trump has defeated the...
Local dad finally gets a rest after exhausting week of turning off the lights for everyone else
Local father of five adorable munchkins, Peter Bougereaux was finally able to rest on the couch this evening after an...
BREAKING: Joe Biden gets stuck sniffing woman who used Gorilla Glue for hairspray
BATON ROUGE, LA—TikToker Tessica Brown thought she had seen the end of her problems after uploading a video in which...
Cuomo hires crack team to find the ‘real killer’ of NY nursing home COVID victims
NEW YORK CITY—New York Governor Andrew Coumo has announced that he is taking responsibility for the COVID deaths in his...
Disney gives all princesses a brave makeover to fight wrongthink
VISTA DE MAL, CA—In its campaign to fight wrongthink, Disney has given all of their celebrated princesses a stunning and...
Disney fires Jabba the Hutt after controversial tweets
VISTA DE MAL—"Jabba the Hutt is not currently employed by Lucasfilm and there are no plans for him to be...
BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks secede from the United States
DALLAS—NBA team the Dallas Mavericks, led by owner Mark Cuban, have seceded from the United States. Cuban on Tuesday told...
