‘Trump Can’t Buy Me for $5,000,’ Says Local Man Who Got Experimental Jab for a Free Donut 
AOC Asks How 9/11 Victims ‘Died in Alphabetical Order’ During Memorial Reading 
Yes, Black Lives Matter… Unless They Disagree with Liberals 
9/11 Drone Show to Recreate Perfectly Intact Hijacker Passport Escaping Fiery Inferno 
NCAA Rules Michigan May Keep Playing Until They Win 
Mike Lindell launches new company selling red pills to wake people up
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell has made a lot of money helping people get the best sleep of their lives,...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
OJ Simpson teams with Hillary Clinton to write ‘If I Did It 2’
CHAPPAQUA, NY—In a sequel to his 2007 hit book If I Did It, OJ Simpson is teaming with Hillary Clinton...
BREAKING: Biden signs executive order changing U.S. motto to ‘In Gov We Trust’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden signed an executive order today changing the national motto from ‘In G-D We Trust’ to ‘In Gov...
Fauci says Americans can stop wearing masks in the year 3082
WASHINGTON, DC—In a hopeful interview today on CBS, Dr. Anthony Fauci said that Americans will be able to stop wearing...
Coca-Cola now requiring employees to ‘be less white’ by wearing blackface
ATLANTA—Super woke soft drink company Coca-Cola is now mandating all employees to wear blackface in order to "be less white"....
In effort to win over media, Ted Cruz starts putting COVID patients in nursing homes
AUSTIN—Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) who was criticized for not personally fixing all of the telephone and cables during the snowstorm...
Biden is giving up chocolate-covered kids for Lent
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reiterated President Joe Biden's devout Catholicism today confirming that he has given up...
In effort to woo Trump voters, Biden tries new hairdo
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to understand and woo Trump supporters, Dominion-select President Joe Biden is trying a new hairdo. "I...
BREAKING: Biden deports all Republicans to Cancún
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to the Ted Cruz scandal plaguing the nation, President Biden signed an executive order deporting all Republicans...
Cuomo to legalize marijuana, sports betting, and killing lots of elderly by accident
NEW YORK—In an effort to shore up dwindling support, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced he will be introducing new...
