Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
BREAKING: Officials urge rioters to maintain social distancing as they burn the city down
MINNEAPOLIS — City officials urged that rioters maintain social distancing and wear face masks as they burn the city down...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local man pretty sure he ended racism by tweeting ‘white people are the worst’
NEW YORK, NY—Several millennia of racism, slavery, and warfare came to an abrupt end Thursday when local progressive Dickey Le...
BREAKING: Trump lengthens day to 25.5 hours to jump start economy
WASHINGTON — In an Oval Office ceremony held with business leaders and entrepreneurs at his side, President Trump today signed...
Fatalities mount as people run into plexiglass that wasn’t there yesterday
First there was 'sexiglass' the barrier that was placed between consenting adults. Maynard G. Crabs explained to GT, "The hole...
Experts shocked no one is wearing masks after they said to wear masks after they said to not wear masks
Medical experts are shocked that no one is wearing masks after they said to wear masks after they said to...
Alyssa Milano releases line of crocheted body armor for police
Actress, activists, and self proclaimed genius Alyssa Milano has already made her mark by being part of the #MetooSometimes Movement...
Fauci: ‘Dying cancer victims should just be glad they didn’t get COVID-19 with a 99.8% cure rate’
Tens of thousands of cooperative self-isolating quarantined citizens are coming out of their basements. A bit dazed, a little pale,...
Newsom reassures public that the church of the state is still open during lockdown
On Friday, President Trump deemed houses of worship “essential" while California and other states keep in-person services closed due to...
BREAKING: Biden chooses black female as VP running mate
Amid backlash for some recent racists comments, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee to run against Donald J Trump, Joe Biden,...
Nation’s liberals horrified by low COVID deaths as states reopen
America's progressives were horrified by the fact that states that have lifted COVID-19 lockdown restrictions haven't seen more deaths from...
