It’s Last Chance for Iran Day…Again 
Khan promises to ban knives ‘harder’ after latest London knife attack 
Mamdani Announces Microchip Requirement for Access to City-Owned Grocery Stores 
BREAKING: Arsonist blames climate change for making him start the Spokane fire 
BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow 
BREAKING: Warren Commission argues ‘magic ballot’ killed President Trump’s election hopes
WASHINGTON DC—The Warren Commission has published the official explanation of how Joe Biden—a candidate with record low enthusiasm—flipped several swing...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Twitter launches free-speech alternative called Twit
SAN FRANCISCO—Propaganda app CEO Jack "Rasputin" Dorsey has launched a new free-speech alternative to Twitter called Twit. “I just don't...
VIDEO: Meet two of the dead voters who helped elect Joe Biden
The 2020 presidential election has been really fun—especially for deceased people. The silent majority buried underground voted more in this...
Newsom shifts all police funding to pay for Aerial Turkey Surveillance Thanksgiving crackdowns
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has unilaterally defunded all police this week to pay for his Aerial Turkey Surveillance Thanksgiving crackdowns....
Official How-To Guide for Safely Celebrating Thanksgiving in 2020
Millions of Americans find themselves unsure how to celebrate Thanksgiving this year due to the China Virus. Using recommendations and...
Oregon Health Authority reminds people to wear face masks while smoking crack at Thanksgiving
PORTLAND — The Oregon Health Authority is reminding people to wear face masks while smoking crack at Thanksgiving celebrations. They are...
Nike launches Antifa Spirit Urban Gear just in time for Black Friday
BEAVERTON, OR--Athletic equipment maker Nike has launched its Antifa Spirit Gear just in time for Black Friday. Nike spokesperson, William...
Hunter Biden surfaces after hearing someone say ‘I’m going to release the crack!’
WASHINGTON DC—Austere businessman and philanthropist Hunter Biden has finally surfaced in Washington DC after hearing someone say she was going...
Gov. Cuomo wins Emmy for Best Portrayal of A Mass Murderer
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo has won an Emmy for Best Portrayal of a Mass Murderer during the coronavirus pandemic. He...
GA Sec of State certifies ‘fraud-free’ election in front of a mountain of shredded ballots
ATLANTA—Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger announced that the Peach State's election had been certified after a hand recount was...
