BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
Rep. Cummings uses Baltimore improvement grant to publish rat and mice cookbook
After being criticized for not doing much to solve his districts horrible, rat-infested slums, US Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-MD) has...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Mario Lopez disapproves of giving toddlers cancer-causing hormones, is burned at the stake
Well this escalated quickly. During an interview with world renowned white-supremacist, Candace Owens, Mario Lopez let his bigotry show. He...
Kamala Harris’ innovative new healthcare plan will imprison everyone so they can go to the doctor for free
Now, this is thinking outside of the box. Fed up with the labyrinth of bureaucracy that healthcare in America must...
Kamala Harris threatens to throw Tulsi Gabbard in jail for claiming she threw too many brown people in jail
Kamala Harris was literally destroyed on the second night of the CNN Democratic debate by several of the other 12,000...
Kamala Harris releases campaign Monopoly game in which all spaces are ‘Go to Jail’
Kamala Harris was literally destroyed on the second night of the CNN Democratic debate by several of the other 12,000...
Angsty pre-teen destroys thousands of expert biblical scholars across millennia with brilliant summary, ‘it wuz all made up duh’
Wylie Marie, of North Dakota fame, just destroyed two-millenia of biblical exegesis in one fell swoop. During a stretch of...
Each Democratic candidate promises to fix Trump’s booming economy
Despite many disagreements during the debates, Democrats have agreed on a few things including murdering children is a right and...
Elizabeth Warren abruptly murders John Delaney in Democratic debate
Presidential hopeful Elizabeth Warren abruptly murdered fellow candidate John Delaney during the first CNN presidential debate. The incident was reported...
Bernie Sanders immediately makes Cardi B economic advisor after seeing her roll around in money
Democratic socialist presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders has made a bold staffing decision after been hounded by logical thinkers for advocating...
POLL: Big winner of latest Democratic debate is Donald Trump
The 2020 election cycle continued this week as the 4 million Democratic candidates converged for a series of debates as...
