CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
New ‘King Donald Version’ Bible adds Prosperity Gospel, removes 7th Commandment
Several churches across the United States are upgrading to a new Bible translation published by President Trump dubbed the 'King...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
‘Captain Marvel’ breaks all records for virtue signals in an opening weekend
Captain Marvel, the latest in the Marvel superhero universe of films, was an enormous hit, breaking all records for the...
Fake economist and fake scientist team up to tell you how to live your life
Bill Nye (aka The Science Guy) is usually the guy with all the fake answers. But at SXSW on Saturday,...
Ocasio Cortez in SXSW panel: ‘It’s 2019; we must put an end to women’s suffrage’
Austin--Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York took the tech and arts South by Southwest conference by storm this weekend and...
Angry feminists demand equal jobs in garbage collection, portable toilet cleaning
In a bold protest on International Women's Day, a mob of self-proclaimed angry feminists demanded equal female representation in the...
Jordan Peterson and Slavoj Žižek to debate about happiness using only scowls and grimaces
Toronto, Canada—After a long wait and several rounds of Twitter taunting, two of the most well respected intellectuals of our...
UK man wants you to know he’s still not giving you up even though it’s Lent
A UK man has been insistent on letting you know that, even though it's Lent, a time for sacrifice, he's...
Rep. Pelosi wears ashes from Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi came under fire for proudly wearing ashes that she got from a Washington DC...
8 Ways to Begin an Effective Social Media Rant
Don’t go fishing for a fight without this top-tier bait! 1. "I think it's really funny how..." This here's a...
OPINION: Black athletes must pay slave reparations for inheriting superior physical genes
We all know that every white person is guilty of slavery and should pay each person of color $10,000 annually...
