BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
BREAKING: Biden credits the COVID vaccine for him only getting a mild case of dementia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden held a press conference today to express his...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Quarantined Joe Biden grows mustache so he can continue sniffing hair
WASHINGTON, DC – Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been quarantined and staffers for his campaign have finally convinced him to...
BREAKING: The Secret Service has investigated itself and found they did nothing wrong
WASHINGTON, DC—The United States Secret Service has completed a thorough internal investigation and astonishingly found itself to be completely blameless...
BREAKING: Biden assigned a new doctor after hinting that he may drop out of presidential race if he has a ‘medical condition’
President* Joe Biden has been assigned a new personal physician following his recent hints that he might consider dropping out...
BREAKING: Secret Service Director Cheatle says they can’t protect Trump anymore because there are sloped roofs everywhere
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented announcement, US Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle has declared that the agency can no longer provide...
BREAKING: Trump shocks nation by picking Sydney Sweeney as VP: ‘Finally, a VP Worth Watching’
MILWAULKEE—“Yes, it’s true. Sydney Sweeney is going to be my running mate,” Trump declared at a press conference at the...
BREAKING: Trump selects clone of himself as VP: ‘He’s the only one I can trust’
MILWAULKEE—Former President Donald Trump has announced his vice-presidential pick for the 2024 election: a clone of himself. “Yes, it’s true....
FBI launches investigation into the Angel of God who interfered in assassination attempt on Trump
In a move that has left theologians and conspiracy theorists equally bewildered, the FBI has announced an investigation into the...
BREAKING: Trump hires Rooftop Koreans to beef up security after Secret Service failure
In a bold and unexpected move, former President Donald Trump has announced the hiring of the famed "Rooftop Koreans" to...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination of him
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination attempt on his life. The...
