Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
Chris Christie Joins Trump Campaign as Food Taster
In a masterstroke of political chess, former President Donald J. Trump has taken preemptive measures to protect himself from the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Ted Cruz releases letter officially endorsing Donald Trump for president
In a surprising twist of political theater, Senator Ted Cruz has released a letter officially endorsing former President Donald Trump...
Is Vocational School Right For You?
In a world where the traditional path of a four-year college degree is often seen as the only gateway to...
BREAKING: Fox News unanimously declares Jeb Bush the winner of the 2024 Iowa Caucases
DES MOINES—In a bizarre turn of events, Fox News has taken a bold leap into the realm of speculative journalism...
Nation shocked that 2024 Miss America winner is an actual woman
In a plot twist that has left the nation in collective disbelief, this year's Miss America pageant concluded with the...
FAA to hire more people with ‘severe intellectual’ and ‘psychiatric’ disabilities to match Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has aviation experts questioning whether they accidentally boarded the wrong flight, the Federal Aviation Administration...
Nikki Haley wows townhall by chugging hot sauce to match ethnicity of every audience member
IOWA—CNN town hall audience and viewers were treated to a political first, as Nikki Haley kept reaching into her purse...
Gov Hochul Moves Bills Playoff Game to June To Avoid Cold and Snow
BUFFALO—In a move that left football fans scratching their heads and meteorologists questioning their careers, Governor Kathy Hochul has boldly...
BREAKING: United Airlines bolsters DEI requirements, now hiring blind people as pilots
US—United Airlines announced today that it is bolstering its DEI requirements and is now hiring blind people to be pilots....
BREAKING: Biden cancels MLK Day because ‘he ain’t black’
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden isn't even president yet and he's already shaking things up. Biden unilaterally cancelled the Martin Luther King...
