Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

BREAKING: AOC recalls barely making it out alive of Ewok siege on Endor base

Exavier Saskagoochie February 4, 2021

FOREST MOON—A teary-eyed Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) on Monday recounted the horrifying events during the Ewok siege of the Galactic...

Disney releases new blockbuster: Ocacchio

Exavier Saskagoochie February 3, 2021

NO BUENO VISTA, CA—Disney Corporation is capitalizing on the wonderful life of congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (also known as Alexandria Ocasio-Smollett)...

AOC: ‘I was almost just killed by an economics textbook’

Rafi Metz February 3, 2021

NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) recounted today on Twitter a very disturbing experience she had recently. AOC said she...

NEW: AOC reveals she is a Holocaust survivor

Richie Richards February 3, 2021

NEW YORK—Desperate for attention, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez announced new layers to her victim status by describing her very real experience surviving...

AOC claims Starbucks tried to kill her by misspelling her name on her to-go coffee

Exavier Saskagoochie January 29, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is living a nightmare in the hellscape that is the nation's capital. Not only...

BREAKING: Biden proposes raising minimum wage to $1,000,000 an hour

Rafi Metz January 17, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—President-Elect Joe Biden announced today that on day one of his presidency, he’ll pass an executive order raising the...

BREAKING: Biden to build wall along entire coastline to fight rising sea levels

Jeremy Spoken January 15, 2021

Washington, DC—Joe Biden signaled that the environment will be at the heart of the next administration as he unveiled a...