The Genesius Times Official BLM Protesting How-to Guide
As last year's Nike's go out of style, it's time to replace them with riot protest season upon us. Genesius...
Black Lives Matter
Mayor reminds citizens to wear BLM gear when burning city so the FBI won’t investigate
PORTLAND, OR—City officials urged that rioters proudly display their Black Lives Matter gear while burning the city down in protest...
BRAVE: Georgetown basketball team kneels through entire game; loses 281-0
In a brave performance, the entire Georgetown men's basketball team, as well as coach Patrick Ewing, took a knee during...
George Floyd Celebrates 300 Days of Sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, Patron Saint in the Church of Woke, celebrates 300 consecutive drug-free days today. Mr. Floyd famously quit...
Brave activists exterminate last ‘problematic’ white rhinos
KENYA—The northern white rhinoceros became the latest victim of woke cancel culture when brave American activists killed the last two...
Shaun King launches BLM inspired flaming pillow company
The political pillow fight just became even bigger and even more mostly peaceful.Black Lives Matter activist Shaun King announced he...
BLM promises to ‘burn the whole motherf***er down’ if they don’t win the Nobel Peace Prize
WASHINGTON, DC—Black Lives Matter protestors took to the streets over the weekend after it was announced they were nominated for...
BREAKING: Thousands of immigrants heading to US to become victims of systemic racism
McALLEN, TX—A migrant caravan from Africa and Central America is heading for the United States to become victims of the...
Oxford changes definition of ‘peaceful’ to include ‘surrounded by thousands of troops’
OXFORD, UK- Following a trend of recent changes to the famous dictionary, Oxford announced it updated the definition of 'peaceful'...
Forest fire arsonist identified as Squirrel Lives Matter activist
SAN OAK, CA—Months after forest fires destroyed thousands of acres of woodland, a four-legged arsonist, Chippy Nutfield, has been arrested....
