In major policy win, Biden admin offers $30 million in grants to unload Hunter’s crack pipes
WASHNGTON, DC—In a flagship grant program, titled ”Pipes with the Bidens,” the flailing administration has advanced their most ingenious piece...
Hunter Biden
BREAKING: Biden FDA approves emergency use authorization of crack as COVID treatment
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's Food & Drug Administration Commissioner Hunter Biden has fast-tracked the emergency use authorization for smoking crack as...
BREAKING: Jon Gruden identifies as Hunter Biden so media will ignore his emails
LAS VEGAS—Jon Gruden has identified as President* Biden's son Hunter Biden so that the media will ignore his offensive emails,...
Facebook, Twitter fact-checkers halt vicious lies that Hunter Biden is related to Joe Biden
US—Earlier this week video was released of Hunter Biden naked with a hooker complaining about Russians stealing his laptop for...
Jill Biden has sharp object removed from foot after stepping on Hunter’s crack pipe
WASHINGTON, DC—First Lady* Dr. Jill Biden had a sharp object removed from her left foot by doctors at Walter Reed...
Collector who wants to buy Hunter Biden’s piece of sh*t for $500k wants to remain anonymous
LOS ANGELES, CA—Hunter Biden is preparing to sell several piles of his own feces at an upcoming art exhibition for as...
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...
Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance exam, replacing it with President...
BREAKING: FBI has evidence of Matt Gaetz engaging in sex trafficking and illicit drugs with minors
WASHINGTON, DC--The FBI has photographic and video evidence of Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL) participating in sexual activities and engaging in...
Portland offers free hits of crack with proof of COVID vaccination
PORTLAND, OR—Residents of Portland are lining up to receive their free hits of crack rock—a little extra incentive for receiving...
