Putin says it’s too late to invade because his favorite show ‘1883’ is starting in 15 minutes
MOSCOW—President Putin’s motorcade pushed through rush hour traffic as he hurried home to catch the season finale of his favorite...
Ukraine
BREAKING: After consulting trusted advisors, Biden now says Ukraine will invade Russia any day now
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden, after spending almost two hours alone, at his Oval Office desk, consulting (babbling aimlessly) with his closest...
BREAKING: VP Kamala Harris dispatched to Europe to ‘sleep with anyone I need to to resolve Ukraine crisis’
WASHINGTON, DC—US Vice President Kamala Harris is traveling to a NATO meeting in Munich, Germany Thursday to "sleep with anyone I need...
Trudeau: Russia may invade Ukraine as long as they don’t honk horns or bring bouncy castles
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared that Russia may invade and occupy Ukraine as long as they don't honk their horns....
To prepare for war, Ukrainian troops undergo emergency Critical Race Theory training
UKRAINE—As the nation awaits a Russian invasion, military leaders ordered all soldiers receive last minute critical race theory lessons in...
Opinion: Canadian Truckers are literal Fascists, but these Neo-Nazis are not
Here we go again! Right-wingers the world over think they are dunking on the libs. You see, America’s CON-servatives kindly...
Ukraine troops wash, wax, vacuum tanks; get ready for capture
UKRAINE—Major General Victor Nikolyuk, Northern Commander ordered all Ukrainian armored vehicles to be vacuumed and washed. “When the Russians capture...
BREAKING: Biden sends $80B in weapons to Ukraine to leave behind for Russia when we withdraw
WASHINGTON, DC--Following his stellar exit strategy that worked flawlessly in Afghanistan, President* Biden is sending over $80 billion in military-grade...
BREAKING: France to deploy troops to Caribbean islands of Ukraine in the ‘Speed Bump’ formation
PARIS—French President Emmanuel Macron announced the deployment of a few companies of French troops into the Ukraine conflict. Taken from...
Elite Rogan’s Rangers deployed to Ukraine armed only with deadly interviews
KYIV, UKRAINE—The elite unit Rogen’s Rangers was deployed by the Biden Pentagon in the middle of the night to the...
