China pinky-promises to lower carbon emissions by 2069
BEIJING—Xi Jinping and all of his advisors have pinky-promised to lower their country’s emissions by the year 2069. The promise...
climate change
97% of experts say burning all American cities to the ground is the best way to fight climate change
Why just today we hear about a potential second wave of COVID-19 due to the lack of social distancing and...
CNN CEO selects Greta Thunberg to conduct triple bypass surgery on him
CNN CEO, Jeff Zucker, is in need of triple heart bypass surgery and he has selected none other than world-renowned...
Greta Thunberg manages to revive publicity by intentionally contracting coronavirus
It was a scary couple weeks for teen climate sensation Greta Thunberg. No one was talking about her or the...
AOC: ‘These poor animals can’t fly because heartless people keep eating their wings’
Freshman congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is launching a new campaign to save the buffalo from having their wings harvested for...
Mayor Pete and Greta Thunberg found to be twins separated at birth
Once again our crack medical reporting team is on the move. Through our diligent research we have uncovered another shocking...
Joaquin Phoenix challenges celebrities to combat injustice by eating their own feces
In the most brave and stunning rewards speech of all time Joaquin Phoenix challenged fellow celebrities to eat their own...
With climate activists refusing to have children, experts predict critical shortage of child climate activists within 12 years
GLASGOW, UK - The world's elite are gassing up their Gulfstreams in preparation for this year's Climate Summit. Millions of...
BREAKING: 97% of climate scientists agree with the people writing their checks
A new study from the Fosterton Institute in New York confirms what many have suspected for some time: 97 percent...
At Davos, Greta Thunberg demands world leaders give her back her ‘precious’
Swedish teen climate activist Greta Thunberg delighted the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland by scolding them for doing nothing...
