Biden changes name to Emperor Palbiden, establishes Galactic Empire
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare press conference, President* Biden said that he has officially changed his name to Emperor Palbiden and...
Joe Biden
Biden to build new border wall to protect Americans from ‘American’ts’
Washington D.C. - “There’s good walls and there’s bad walls.” President Joe Biden announced last night at a fund raiser...
Biden deploys 2 AT-ATs to defend White House against ‘rebel scum’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has deployed two All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT) vehicles to the White House to defend against "rebel...
Count Chocula endorses Gavin Newsom for 2024 presidential run
SACRAMENTO—Is Governor Gavin Newsom throwing his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential election? We don’t know the answer...
DoD quietly adds new DEFCON levels for Biden food cravings, poopy pants
WASHINGTON, DC—The Office of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has notified media outlets that the Department of Defense has added...
AOC: ‘Insurrectionists are just mad they can’t date me’
Did you know that all those frustrated insurrectionists are just mad they can't date me? It's true. That's why I've...
Biden awards velvet ropes the Medal of Freedom for saving democracy during Jan 6 insurrection
WASHINGTON DC- Following its brave defense of freedom during history's darkest moment, the January 6 insurrection, Resident Joe Biden awarded...
BREAKING: Joe Biden has killed Betty White
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden promised a winter of sickness and death and he's starting to put his money where his mouth...
Kamala Harris says Mayan calendar prophesies she will assume presidency February 02, 2022
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Kamala Harris says the Mayan calendar has revealed she is to take the presidency of the United...
FBI to put 100% of agents on finding out who got Biden to say ‘Let’s go Brandon’
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI is known for their tireless dedication to fighting horrible crimes and only horrible crimes. Like the time...
