CBS cancels World Series due to constant ‘F*** Joe Biden’ chanting in crowd
US—CBS has cancelled the World Series after constant chanting from the crowd disrupted game four. Fans chanted "F*** Joe Biden"...
Joe Biden
Biden says he will probably vote for ‘this Brandon guy’ next election
US—Following a recent surge in popularity of a dark horse presidential candidate "Brandon", even sitting President* Joe Biden says that...
New hack for managers to get around pesky sexual harassment laws
US—If you're a pervy middle manager in a Fortune 500 company, you're in luck! Thanks to President* Biden's new vaccine...
BREAKING: Biden to replace unvaxxed soldiers with army of Rachel Levine clones
WASHINGTON, DC—Facing pressure from an increasingly hostile and militaristic China, President* Biden has approved a program to replace all military...
Shoppers already lining up for Black Friday deals outside of cargo ship off California coast
LOS ANGELES—Shoppers have already started lining up for this year's Black Friday deals at beaches across California. They have their...
Democrats change 2022 campaign slogan to ‘Try to lower your expectations’
WASHINGTON, DC—For the first time ever, politicians are promising less during an election. The Democrats have changed their 2022 campaign...
CNN: Biden expertly steers car during Presidential Townhall
(CNN) The most popular president in the history of the world expertly steered a car during the Presidential Townhall last...
BREAKING: Brandon surges to the lead in the 2024 presidential poll
US—A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Center shows that some guy named Brandon has surged to the lead in...
BREAKING: Biden adds Pfizer to US flag, Pledge of Allegiance
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden yesterday announced that he is adding Pfizer to the official US flag and the Pledge of Allegiance...
BREAKING: COVID-19 has died after infecting Chuck Norris at age 81
DALLAS—COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, which has wrecked havoc across the globe, has been declared dead after infecting Chuck Norris. "We...
