BREAKING: Franklin fire near Malibu leaves several Hollywood elites stranded, unable to run their Satanic pedophile rings
MALIBU, CA—In a shocking turn of events, the Franklin Fire around Malibu has not only scorched over 4,000 acres of...
pedophilia
Clinton: ‘I didn’t have sex with any sex slaves on Epstein’s island…the 26 times I flew there on his plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein. In a...
Biden fitted with anti-sniff cone to protect children
WOONSOCKET, RI—Students at Woonsocket Elementary rejoiced as President Biden arrived for his latest unity speech to berate half the country...
Biden says all migrant children sent to his home in Delaware will be met with open arms in his shower
SHADY ACRES, DE—President* Joe Biden said that all migrant children who are sent to his home in Delaware will be...
Heavily-armed Antifa to stand guard over Biden’s ‘kid-friendly’ showers from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the successful defense of a kid-friendly drag show in Texas, President* Biden has employed heavily-armed Antifas to stand...
BREAKING: Disney buys ‘Epstein Island’ for new kids-only theme park
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has purchased the controversial island owned by convicted pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. The company...
BREAKING: New York to pay pedophiles $100k to relocate to NYC from Florida
NEW YORK—Mayor Eric Adams has launched a new campaign to lure pedophiles and groomers to the city following the passage...
Disney replaces bigoted white CIS-gender Mickey mascot with inclusive Pedobear in mouse ears
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In an effort to stay ahead of the woke wave, Disney Corporation has replaced its bigoted white,...
Netflix corrects problematic ‘Cuties’ by putting Joe Biden in every scene
LOS GATOS, CA—Amid widespread backlash over the provocative film 'Cuties', Netflix has apologized and corrected the problematic content by putting...
Netflix CEO Jerry Epstino defends sexualization of children in ‘Cuties’
LOS GATOS, CA—New Netflix CEO Jerry Epstino has issued a public defense of the new Netflix original film 'Cuties' (“Mignonnes”),...
