Portland offers free hits of crack with proof of COVID vaccination
PORTLAND, OR—Residents of Portland are lining up to receive their free hits of crack rock—a little extra incentive for receiving...
Stolen by Babylon Bee
New polls show Biden winning nearly every province in China
BEIJING—A new Pew Pew poll shows that Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is winning in nearly every province in China...
BREAKING: Pence’s excellent debate responses fed by covert drone fly
SALT LAKE CITY--Vice President Mike Pence's excellent debate responses were fed to him by a covert drone fly that was...
Biden and Harris form mariachi band to woo Latino voters
After the holding the biggest hispanic concert in history by playing Despacito on his cellphone, according to hispanic political expert...
Vladimir Putin joins Antifa; immediately wins Nobel Peace Prize
MOSCOW—Russian President Vladimir Putin publicly announced his new membership with Antifa and was immediately recognized as one of the world's...
Facebook’s new ‘Care-n’ react sends people directly to concentration camps
ST. LOUIS—Facebook users everywhere, especially those named Karen, are excited about a new feature that allows them to report people...
BREAKING: De Blasio has instructed NYPD to invade Poland
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has instructed the New York Police Department to invade Poland, breaking several peacetime...
STUDY: More satire sites get their news from Genesius Times than any other source
More satire sites get their news from Genesius Times than any other source, a new study in the prestigious Annals...
BREAKING: Democrats and Republicans agree to give you some of your money
WASHINGTON — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Treasury Secretary Steven T. Mnuchin reached a deal Friday on an economic stimulus package to...
Obama abruptly quits taking credit for the economy after stock market plunge
After a month-long feud with President Trump about who should receive credit for the booming economy, former President Barack Obama...
