In effort to woo Trump voters, Biden tries new hairdo
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to understand and woo Trump supporters, Dominion-select President Joe Biden is trying a new hairdo. "I...
Month: February 2021
BREAKING: Biden deports all Republicans to Cancún
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to the Ted Cruz scandal plaguing the nation, President Biden signed an executive order deporting all Republicans...
Cuomo to legalize marijuana, sports betting, and killing lots of elderly by accident
NEW YORK—In an effort to shore up dwindling support, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced he will be introducing new...
AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow...
BREAKING: President playing games while Americans die is heartwarming now
(CNN) Americans are dying at unprecedented levels from that scary disease. But now and for the foreseeable future, any time...
Green New Deal support increases among the Amish after green energy fail
ANDOVER, OH—As millions of Americans lose power provided by Green New Deal compliant energy sources, support for the bill among...
Planned Parenthood names Andrew Cuomo CEO citing his extensive experience killing people
NEW YORK—Planned Parenthood announced today the replacement of its current CEO with New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. The selection of...
TRADE ALERT: GOP trades Mitt Romney to Democrats for cash and an intern to be named later
Democrats in the senate announced a blockbuster trade Monday, noting that they obtained Utah Senator Mitt Romney from the GOP...
After second acquittal, Trump urges Democrats to impeach him again to claim 3-game winning streak
UNITED STATES—By this time you’re probably aware that Trump was acquitted in his second impeachment trial by a vote of...
