BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...
Year: 2021
Nadler: ‘We need to add 5,000 seats to SCOTUS to preserve our norms of completely disregarding the Constitution’
WASHINGTON, DC—Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY), Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, announced today at a press conference that Democrats introduced...
The Genesius Times Official BLM Protesting How-to Guide
As last year's Nike's go out of style, it's time to replace them with riot protest season upon us. Genesius...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $30B and immediately deletes it
AUSTIN—Business magnate Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform Twitter for $30 billion and promptly deleted in his...
WARNING: COVID vaccine only works if you post a selfie of you getting it
HOBOKEN, NJ—A spokesman for Pfizer Pharmaceuticals issued a warning for their new COVID-19 vaccine, which is currently being deployed around...
Ben & Jerry’s will discontinue vanilla ice cream to fight white supremacy
(FOX NEWS)—Ben & Jerry’s will discontinue vanilla-flavored ice cream to fight white supremacy, according to reports. The company’s decision will...
Mayor reminds citizens to wear BLM gear when burning city so the FBI won’t investigate
PORTLAND, OR—City officials urged that rioters proudly display their Black Lives Matter gear while burning the city down in protest...
BREAKING: Female cop ‘accidentally’ pulls hairdryer instead of gun
MINNEAPOLIS—Minneapolis police officer Samantha Everett was involved in an altercation with an armed suspect Saturday when she reached for her...
Walmart opens new riot section in all of its stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special rioting section in all of its stores....
Ben and Jerry’s launches ‘Be Less Vanilla’ ice cream with arsenic to fight white supremacy
(FOX NEWS)—Ben and Jerry’s will begin including the deadly toxin arsenic in their "Be Less Vanilla" ice cream to fight...
