Chicagoans now boarding up their car windows to get around safer
CHICAGO—Chicagoans have come up with a revolutionary new solution: boarding up their car windows and windshields to avoid rioters bashing...
Year: 2023
OP-ED: A Heartfelt Letter to All the Legacy Blue Checks Who Lost Their Blue Checkmarks on Twitter
We’ve seen the suffering and misery that ordinary Americans have to endure on a daily basis. It isn’t funny in...
Local kid who only watches TV commercials surprised to learn that there are white people
In a shocking discovery that has left his parents scratching their heads, local 6-year-old Timmy Johnson has realized that there...
NOW HIRING: Copyeditor for Random Memes We Find on the Internet
Annoyed by all those misspellings in the memes we find online? Well we've got the job for you! In an...
Biden Reveals He’s ‘Lack Toast and Tolerant’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden revealed today that he only drinks lactaid milk because he’s “lack toast and tolerant.” “I’m lack toast...
AOC: If Walmart can’t handle constant looting, they shouldn’t be in business
I don't know who needs to hear this but if Walmart can't handle a little looting at their stores like...
Alcoholics Anonymous hires Dylan Mulvaney as most effective way to get people to stop drinking
In a groundbreaking move, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has announced that they have secured the sponsorship of every major beer company...
LIFE HACK: How to claim Volodymyr Zelensky as a dependent on your 2022 tax return
In a difficult economy, people are looking to boost their tax return and get as much money back as they...
BREAKING: Leaking documents is bad again
(CNN) In a stunning reversal of opinion, politicians and media figures are now decrying the practice of leaking documents, after...
BREAKING: Biden vows to punish whoever released illegal leaks all over the White House
In a statement released today, the Biden administration has vowed to find and punish whoever is responsible for repeatedly releasing...
