New Apple ‘iCollar’ corrects white people when they’re about to be racist
MOUNTAINVIEW, CA—Apple has announced a radical leap forward in information access and a racial leap forward in social justice with...
Gumpers
Biden to release 100m barrels of baby formula from strategic reserves, send it to the border
WASHINGTON, DC—Americans can rest easy on the baby food shortage according to President Joe Biden, announcing he will issue an...
Department of Misinformation opens first ‘Truth Camp’ near Bakersfield
BAKERSFIELD, CA—The Department of Misinformation opened the first Truth Camp this weekend. Several anonymous sources have confirmed that 27 persons,...
BREAKING: Naomi Judd used Alec Baldwin’s new assisted suicide service: On-Set Solutions
LEIPERS FORK, TN—Ashley Judd, daughter of recently deceased mom and Country Western star, Naomi Judd explained the tragic events preceding...
Biden to release 100m barrels of baby formula from strategic reserves, send it to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—Americans can rest easy on the baby food shortage according to President Joe Biden, announcing he will issue an...
Chinese gay community boasts 73 characters, LGBTQ+ cries foul
BEIJING—Gay activist, Peni Xi Hung announced the addition of 13 more groups to the Chinese gay + community bringing the...
Elon Musk buys Motel 6 to build first motel on Mars
CARROLTON, TX—Elon Musk announced the purchase of Motel 6 from the Blackstone Group, this morning. He said the nationwide, popular...
Jen Psaki leaves bat-sh*t crazy White House to join just moderately psychotic MSNBC
WASHINGTON, DC—Jen Psaki says she will seek ‘a boatload of R&R and lots of drugs.” to re-acclimate into a normal...
Elon Musk secretly buys 51% of all passwords, will soon control internet
ZURICH—The GPO, Global Password Organization, announced on May 5th, World Password Day, that Elon Musk, the SpaceX and Tesla entrepreneur,...
Biden declares war on the Ultra Mega Super Actors
Washington - President Joe Biden declared war on the Ultra-Mega Super Actors this morning. Calling them the most devastating legion...
